Shadowboxer
by Merriwickedly
Summary: Sometimes there's so much at stake that it feels like you're just blindly throwing punches into the air... And it works if you hit the enemy, but what happens when the enemy happens to be within you?
1. Chapter 1

She reads through the document once again but for some reason she just can't focus on the words that seem to fade away into meaningless symbols. She clicks the pen switching it from one color to the next desperately trying to seek some sort of calm and clarity. But the clicking sound further annoys her, and she instead drops the pen into the pretty pencil holder with more force than usual.

Donna feels the mix of anger, embarrassment and irritation warm her blood in that unpleasant way it seems to come and go as of late. Yet, she struggles to remain poised, and her motions have become both careful and practiced, for she knows the glass walls that envelop her office showcase her to the world. Even more now that she's under so much scrutiny. She can feel the swift glances that come from colleagues as they pass by her office some hold questions, some judgment and others are just plain curious. And for once in her life, she cares. She cares because the whole weight of the Firm feels like it rests on her shoulders. After all, she has to admit that she's the one that messed up…

That's when it hits her again and she feels both disgusted and angry at the lack of self control she displayed back then. She's always been Donna: the one who knows everything, the one that can foresee and plan ahead of others... She can feel her pulse quicken and moisture builds on both her forehead and neck. Reaching out for a tissue she dabs the sweat forming and scrambles her brain for the breathing tips Gretchen gave her the other day.

Letting a puff of air come out in annoyance and closing her eyes, she whispers to herself, "_Fuck it! You can fucking do this Donna!_"

It's when Gretchen's words finally come back to her, and she tries to find the peace and sanity she so longs for.

"_Breathe in, four seconds. Exhale for six. Repeat. Find your happy place_." Her mantra of sorts.

And her thoughts immediately go to Harvey and the moments they've shared together during the last few weeks. Her breathing finally begins to slow down and evens out, the layer of sweat disappearing, and her pulse going almost back to normal.

"Donna, I was wondering if I could run an idea by you before writing this report…"

The words die in Mike's mouth as he takes in Donna's posture. Without even asking, he heads for the corner where her office drink cart is, takes a Voss water bottle, pours some in a tumbler and hands it over to her. She raises an elegant eyebrow at him but doesn't say anything as she accepts the cool glass of water.

Donna watches as he sits in one of the chairs and she drinks. His bright blue eyes are examining her closely, his hands clasped together. Waiting. She finishes the water and places the tumbler down on the table, but refuses to look up at him. She stares at the empty glass instead, the minutes ticking by.

"How long have you had them?" Mike finally asks knowing she can be as reluctant and stubborn as his mentor. Birds of a feather really _do_ flock together, he thinks...

"Had what?" she stalls. Mike offers her a smile and she absolutely hates the pity she sees in his intelligent gaze.

"You know what I'm talking about, Donna…" he says in an almost whisper, "Does Harvey know?"

She gets up and goes on to pour herself some more water. Donna takes a sip as she stares at the city skyline before her. Her back turned to him, but he can still view her pained grimace through the reflection cast on the glass window.

It almost imperceptible but he can see her shake her head no.

"You should tell him... He will understand and can help you out," Mike's voice is soft yet firm.

Donna turns around and offers him her best smile, "I will... Thank you, Mike."

Mike returns the smile yet his eyes linger on her face, trying to figure out if she's being truthful or just trying to dismiss him. He decides it's the latter and gets up knowing that she'll need time to process his suggestion. Grabbing the folder he'd been carrying with him he gives her one last smile before leaving her office. She smiles back at him but he can see it doesn't reach her eyes. He makes a mental note of telling Rachel to give her friend a call…

* * *

"Harvey," the familiar voice says and he pauses for a minute to look up at his former secretary. He raises an eyebrow when he notices that Gretchen is closing the glass door behind her. And he knows that whatever's coming is not good. Putting the pen down he leans back into his comfortable office chair as she approaches his desk. Her face is serious, dark eyes blazing, and her eyebrows are furrowed together.

"What's going on Gretchen? I don't have the time for office gossip, and I really don't want to know what Richardson is up to…" he says in an annoyed tone.

"This is not about Faye Richardson, god knows she's my least favorite person... and this is definitely NOT about office gossip, Harvey," her voice reminds him of his grade 7 teacher who ruled with an iron fist and never let him get away with anything.

Sliding his chair forward again, picks up the pen, looks up at Gretchen and says, "then what is this about, Gretchen? I really don't have the time, as you know, we're in the middle of a war."

Gretchen sets her eyes on Harvey and even though she seems superbly annoyed her voice comes out soft and tender.

"This is about Red, Harvey."

Harvey gives her a confused yet concerned look and gets up from his chair so fast that he sends it reeling against the back wall.

"What about Donna? Is she ok? Did Richardson attack her again? Son of bitch! That woman…"

"Stop it, Harvey!" Gretchen interrupts his tirade and he looks at her questioningly.

"Sit down and let's talk about this like adults… Donna is fine. Well, not entirely fine BUT you need to listen to me...Sit, Harvey!"

He does as told and swallows his words not willing to get the strong woman before him angrier than she already seems to be.

"You need to talk to Donna, Harvey… She hasn't been herself lately, but you know her... She feels incredibly responsible about this intervention and refuses to let anyone in. I know you are seeing each other. Well, at least that's what I think you kids are calling it these days…, " she rambles for a minute but then gets back on track at the irked look on Harvey's face.

"I caught her in the ladies washroom last week and she was having an anxiety attack," Gretchen says with finality and watches as Harvey's annoyed scowl turns into a worried expression.

"Are you certain of this?" he quietly asks, concern in his eyes.

"Yes. She was barely standing and her face was pale. When I reached out to help her hands were cold and clammy but sweat was trickling down her forehead. She came off it with the help of some breathing exercises…"

"Thank you, Gretchen. I appreciate you coming to me with this. I'll address this as soon as I get the chance," Harvey tells her and she knows that this is his way to dismiss her.

She gets up and walks towards the door. He watches as she turns around before opening exiting his office and gives him a pointed look.

"Today, Harvey...do it today," she says in a low murmur and walks away.

* * *

Harvey heads down the hallway towards her office and stops a few feet before stepping into her view. Her focus is completely set on the document before her. Lips slightly parted, right hand holding her favorite pen midair, left hand gracefully splayed out on the desk as though holding the paper in place. Even at almost 10 p.m. she looks fresh, refined and polished in the blush pink sheath dress with the boat neck that he loves so much. Her exquisite collarbones and elegant neck are on display and it does things to his already love-ridden soul. There's something about her... maybe it's the dim lighting in her office, or maybe it's the light that reflects on her face which adds to that already ethereal look that's so her, so Donna. And he realizes then that it's the same thing that caught his eye that night when he first met her. The night she had, unbeknownst to him, stolen his heart.

He knocks on her open glass door and awaits. Harvey has always loved the moment in which her gaze settles on him. There's always that slight flutter of eyelashes and that instant of recognition when her pupils seem to slightly dilate making her hazel eyes appear brighter and larger. Then, there's also the way her mouth curves, her lips painting on that smile she reserves only for him. Her face simultaneously lights up and relaxes as she takes him in.

But tonight there's exhaustion in her eyes and her smile falters. Recalling Gretchen's words it downs on him that Donna might've been silently keeping her apprehension and distress from him for his own protection. Because that's what Donna has done best throughout the years: the strong woman that in addition has been his most fierce advocate and trustworthy confidant.

"Ready to go?" he asks as he watches her stretch her back and arms as though trying to ward off the stiffness after being in the same sitting position for hours.

"What time is it?" she asks him, stifling a yawn.

"It's late Ms. Paulsen, time we go home... Ray's already waiting for us downstairs," he quietly says while trying to keep himself from coming too close, wrapping her in his arms and kissing her senseless. Faye Richardson has come between their recently developing relationship, and they've had to be very careful about how they conduct themselves within the Firm.

"Just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready to go," she tells him and proceeds to file documents away and arrange her desk.

"Take your time," he responds, sits down on her comfortable office sofa and takes out his phone to check his email.

She's ready to leave a few minutes later and they walk side by side towards the elevator. They don't hold hands nor show any sign of affection until they're encased in the metal box and head the fifty floors down to the lobby. He clasps her hand in his and gives it a tiny squeeze. She in turn leans against him and offers him a warm smile. The doors open and they adopt their neutral stance once again. Saying good night to Ray they slide into the back seat and their hands find each other again. Fingers interlace and her head finds the comfort of his shoulder. She closes her eyes and a quiet sigh leaves her lips.

"Tired?" he asks and kisses her forehead.

She keeps her eyes closed and says, "I am… Mind if I crash at your place?"

His heart leaps with love knowing that even though exhausted she still wants to be with him.

"Not at all," he tells her and then directs Ray to take them directly to his address.

* * *

He places his keys in the small ceramic bowl that's on the entrance table, and watches her walk into his penthouse apartment. She sits her handbag on the kitchen counter and proceeds to take off her high heels one at a time. She's halfway through the process, holding one heel in her hand while still wearing the other one when she turns around to see him standing there watching her and she smiles.

"Like what you see, Specter?" she asks her face partly covered by red strands of silky hair but the playful look in her eyes is inviting.

Harvey raises an eyebrow and with a smirk responds, "Has there ever been a time I haven't when it comes to you?... would be the better question!"

Harvey walks up to her, takes her shoes from her hands and places them on the floor. She's at least two or three inches shorter without them so she has to look up at him. Her hands, as if on cue, go to his chest and a smile draws on her face. He takes a minute to admire her beauty and as always, is fascinated by the way her eyes can convey so many emotions. Right now they're telling him that she adores him and tonight she needs his love and tender care. He leans down and places a gentle kiss on her lips. Her left hand immediately goes to the nape of his neck, fingers sliding through his soft hair, while the other hand rests on his shoulder. Her lips are pliant and open for him allowing his tongue to explore and savor her. His hands on her waist squeeze her gently as he begins to guide her towards the living room couch but she stops him.

She slants her head to the side, and gives him an apologetic look. He nods in understanding and squeezes her waist once again.

"Want me to prepare something for dinner?" he asks, his hands still on her waist and hers still on his forearms.

"No, I already ate. Gretchen ordered a veggie split-pea soup and half a sandwich for me from that place I love," she tells him as she touches his tie. "Did you get a chance to eat?"

"Yeah, I did. I met with Roger Stevenson tonight, remember him? He wanted to go over the merger documents and well, it extended into dinner," he responds as one of his hands comes to cup her chin.

"How are _you_ doing?," he probes and his brown eyes settle on her hazel ones, "we haven't had a chance to discuss anything the last couple of days."

She avoids his gaze and looks down at his tie, focusing her eyes on the fabric's pattern instead. Understanding that she will need some coaxing tonight, he leans down and kisses her exposed shoulder, then moves on to her collarbone and ends up burying his face in her neck where he places an open mouth kiss.

"Harvey…" she softly says as she gently extricates herself from his arms, thus avoiding his advances.

He gives her a questioning look and she shakes her head and clasps her hands together nervously.

"I'm just too tired tonight... It has nothing to do with you. My mind... it's, it's just not here…" she tells him, her eyes pleading for his understanding.

He nods but she can sense from his body language that he's feeling a little dejected even though his eyes tell her he sympathizes. This has never happened to them. However, it's been a stressful time and they're both on edge with everything going on at the Firm.

"I'll go change and head to bed," her voice comes as an apologetic whisper.

"Donna!" he calls as she heads for the bedroom. She turns around and he makes his way towards her. Harvey holds out a hand and she places hers in his. He brings her into a hug and kisses her head which rests right under his chin.

"No matter what happens," his voice is deeper, almost hoarse with emotion, "I want you to remember that I love you above all and that we're in this together."

She holds on tightly to him and her voice is quiet as she says, "I love you, too, Harvey"

He kisses her forehead, and looks into her eyes, which hold unshed tears.

"I'm here for you, Donna… whatever it is, I'm here. Don't shut me out, ok?"

She nods and disentangles herself from his arms. Her hand comes up to touch his cheek, a loving look in her eyes. He moves his face, his lips meeting her hand and kisses the open palm, then says, "I'll see you in a bit… I'm just going to pour myself a drink."

He sighs as he watches her figure disappear into his bedroom. Then he heads over to the minibar but after staring at the different glass decanters he decides to get a drink of water instead. A Macallan 18 is a celebratory drink and there's nothing celebratory about tonight…

* * *

A/N: I started writing this after I completed "Home" and I'm not going to lie, it's such a different feel to write (or attempt to write) angst. I apologize if you find mistakes in it (this is unbetaed as all of my other fics, except for 11th Hour). However, I do hope you enjoy it and let me know if you want to see more of this (or not *insert monkey emoji covering its eyes*)... As always, the characters don't belong to me, I just weave words together for you. Thank you for reading and all the support you all so kindly provide. XX- Bellesrad (Loren)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Harvey," Louis leans into Harvey's office and awaits for his colleague to acknowledge him.

Harvey continues to read the document that's open on his laptop choosing to ignore him.

"Harvey, I know you heard me the first time...this is not the time to be playing games," Louis says with practiced patience, after all he and Harvey have been doing this for years.

"Goddammit, Louis," Harvey's eyes narrow while his face shouts annoyance, "what is it now?!"

"Faye Richardson summoned us all to Conference Room A," Louis responds in his characteristic staccato.

Harvey's scowl fades and a concerned one takes its place.

"Does Donna know?"

"Yes, she's coming up from HR. She should be arriving any minute… Why? Is there anything I should know?"

Louis' eyebrows shoot up as he anxiously waits for Harvey to respond.

"No, Louis...everything's fine," Harvey replies getting up from his chair and adjusting his suit jacket, "Thanks for letting me know. Let's go"

They run into Samantha and Alex as they're entering the conference room and Alex gives Harvey a questioning look. Harvey signals he doesn't know what this is about and turns to look at Samantha. The blonde's face is stoic and chooses to remain standing just like she did during their first meeting with the Special Master.

Donna is the last to arrive and stands between Samantha and Harvey while Louis and Alex take two of the vacant seats. If the current situation weren't so serious, Harvey would laugh to see how they, as a Firm, always seem to group together on the opposite end of the table, as far away as possible from their current threat.

Faye Richardson has proven to be a direct and impassive lawyer, methodical and extremely sharp-minded. However, in the month she's been acting as both managing partner and court-mandated investigator, she has attacked them in several ways. She knows how to manipulate the facts to her advantage, is a shrewd observer and has figured out what makes each of the name partners and senior partners tick in order to gather info.

The first she chose to attack, up-front and in a very personal way, had been Louis. As managing partner he took the brunt from the very get go, and had been forced to deal with most of her forthright intrusion to the Firm. And a night not very long ago, for the very first time, he'd confessed to Donna that had it not been for the years of pull and tug with Harvey, he wouldn't have been able to deal with this fierce woman.

Then there was Katrina, who to their surprise, Richardson questioned in regard to Brian's dismissal. She had also inquired about her time at the DA's office, and the way she had first landed a job at what used to be then, Pearson Specter Litt. Fortunately, Katrina was able to dodge the questions with her cool and astute quick thinking, and the Special Master was forced to drop her line of questioning.

Then came Alex whom she tried to rattle by bringing the ReformCorp and Masterson Constructions closed cases to his attention and the mishandling of the collusion it entailed. Alex, in his very prudent but matter-of-fact persona, was able to present and defend his case with unflinching arguments. Arguments with such detailed information that it left no question about his abilities as a lawyer and newly appointed name partner.

Samantha, on the other hand, had butted heads with Richardson when the investigator questioned Robert Zane's ability and reputation as a lawyer during the recent board review case. The young woman's hot-tempered nature combined with her cunning mind soon enough resulted in Richardson backing away and keeping her distance.

And with him, well, they'd had plenty of run-ins… Like the one they'd had last week in the middle of the Firm's elevator entry hallway. Fortunately, this had happened after hours and most personnel had already left for the night. But every time he recalls that moment, Harvey can feel his blood simmer underneath his cool facade. He can still remember how he'd reminded Richardson that this was his Firm also, and not just that, but also his family. The discussion escalated to the point where she warned him once more about being careful when it came to crossing lines and even invited him to resign.

But nothing gets to him the most than when Faye keeps attacking Donna. Richardson's insidious comments and jabs every time the redhead happens to be around, have all of them on edge. But Donna is Donna, and she's warded off the verbal assaults with her trademark sage ability to offer seemingly direct yet vague responses. Something that seems to make the Special Master become more and more irate as the days go by.

Donna excels at avoiding confrontations using her formidable intelligence, charisma and ability to anticipate Faye's moves. But deep down he's afraid that Richardson will soon tire, and become more forceful in trying to break Donna's patience and resilience. And after last night and how uneasy she was about opening up to him makes Harvey further wary of her mental and emotional state. Nevertheless, he has to respect Donna's choice to keep hiding her anxiety attacks from him.

"Glad you could finally join us, Ms. Paulsen," Richardson spouts when she sees Donna walk in and take her spot between Harvey and Samantha. Yet, Donna remains silent, her face void of emotion and the older woman has no choice but to get the meeting commenced.

Faye Richardson offers them a false smile as she stands at the other end of the table.

"Well, you must be wondering why I called you to an impromptu meeting in the middle of the afternoon."

When no response comes from the larger group she sighs and shakes her head, the fake smile lingering on her face.

"You put up a good front. I admire your loyalty and fierce protectiveness but the investigation is not over and I know that sooner or later one of you will break…"

"Is there a point to this meeting or is this just your vindictive way to divulge threats because there's nothing Specter Litt Wheeler Williams has to hide?" Louis asks in his loud booming voice.

Richardson scoffs and gives them an icy stare.

"The point of this meeting is to let you know that I've cleared 4 out of the 5 terms the court has mandated me to investigate. So far blackmail, manufacturing evidence, perjury and breaking attorney-client privilege are off the table. With Mike Ross' conviction, blackmail and perjury were removed because it would incur in double jeopardy. As for manufacturing evidence, breaking attorney-client privilege and perjury, Harvey Specter's board review hearing proved that Robert Zane was the one who broke privilege and his disbarment closed this case. I found no further evidence that requires reopening it."

Faye looks at Samantha as she states the last point, and Samantha offers a very subtle nod of understanding.

"The only charge I'm further pursuing is obstruction of justice via fraudulent concealment. This involves the Coastal Motors company during which Harvey Specter concealed the existence of a document and directed the destruction of such"

"I thought that case was dismissed and closed," Alex states, his face serious as he looks at the Special Master.

"No, the case was not dismissed, instead both parties settled and that was brought to our attention. If the investigation results in any show of foul play, Harvey Specter remains at risk of disbarment. I will have an update about this in the next couple of days. My team and I are on the brink of discovery, and I believe this is coming to an end soon."

Donna turns to Harvey who seems both annoyed and ready to retort but with one look at her pleading eyes, he swallows back his anger and nods at her in compliance.

None of the name partners seem to have the energy to engage with the Special Master and instead give each other a look that clearly says they will discuss this later. With that said and done, each one walks out of Conference Room A and return to their offices or other court-related engagements.

* * *

Donna is on her way to the elevators and carries a series of document folders to discuss some issues with the Purchases and IT departments when Faye Richardson calls her into her office.

Without a valid reason to say no to the Special Master, Donna has no other choice but to enter the interim managing partner's office. On hindsight, she thinks, she should've taken the longer route to the elevators, but had momentarily forgotten that the woman was right next door to her. The glass walls offer prime view of the passersby, and she was probably waiting for the opportunity to pull Donna in.

"Yes, Mrs. Richardson," Donna says in her usual professional tone, "how may I help you?"

Faye leans back on the executive chair and takes a few seconds to observe the young redhead. Donna knows what Faye is doing: trying to assert her power and make Donna flinch in the process. Unfortunately for the older woman, Donna once had Jessica as a managing partner, and there is no one more intimidating than the commanding and elegant Ms. Pearson.

"I meant what I said today during our meeting…"

Donna gives her a questioning look.

"Don't play it cool . I know that your Firm puts loyalty above everything else, but I also know that the pressure is tantamount… someone will break. And call me crazy, but for some reason, I believe that person will be you."

Donna feels a surge of anger cross her body but she's able to control it before saying anything that may be detrimental to the Firm's investigation.

"I've been observing you… and I'm sure behind that cool and composed professional self you show the world hides a shady side to you Ms. Paulsen. Question is, which one do you think played a part in you: nurture or genetics?"

Donna's face pales and a shudder runs down her spine while a cold sweat breaks out in the back of her neck. She swallows and frowns at Faye ready to say something but the older woman smiles and points a finger at her.

"I see I hit a spot! And yes, I have looked into your family and let me say, your father is quite a character, Donna. Larceny, fraud and embezzlement… he's got them all. I'm surprised he's allowed to walk around freely. I wonder how he was able to strike a deal with the DoJ," she pauses for a moment and then fakes surprise, "Hmm, It hadn't occurred to me that maybe he's a client at this firm..."

"Mrs. Richardson, leave my father out of this. That's his flaw and his only. Our Firm and my life are completely separate from his. And don't you dare compare me to him. We are not the same. And whatever wrongdoings he once was involved in, that's for him to deal with, This Firm is not in any way associated with him," Donna says in a quiet but firm tone.

"Let's just book this for later… this probe is still ongoing and we'll refer to this conversation once we have some hard core evidence to support it. For now, your work relationship with Harvey Specter is under scrutiny while his case is under investigation. It just strikes me as odd that with being his legal secretary for over 12 years at this Firm, you've remained ignorant of his legal schemes. This brings about a point that intrigues me incredibly so: are you merely a witness, or are you guilty of aiding and abetting a crime according to Penal Code 31," the icy blue eyes sharply bore into Donna's face.

"Mrs. Richardson, I came here under the impression that you required of my services. If that's not the case, I would like to get back to my agenda and duties," Donna says in an aloof manner but her hazel eyes are blazing with anger as they look at the older woman.

"Sure, thing Ms. Paulsen. I bet you have so much to do as the COO of this law firm. Go, do your work. Earn that six figure revenue the best way you know how to…"

With as much as a nod and ignoring the insult the woman throws at her, Donna walks out of the managing partner's office, making a quick stop at her own to pick up the teal colored bottle that she filled with water earlier. Then she heads towards the elevators as fast as she can.

Donna knows it's coming. She can feel her hands get clammy but a rush of ire speeds from head to toe averting the attack for a few minutes. Meanwhile, her stomach clenches in that familiar way while her chest constricts making it unable to let her breathe properly. She can feel the perspiration build on both her neck and forehead, as well as above her upper lip. She's calculated the times and knows by now, that there's just enough to make it to the rooftop before she begins to gasp for air while the acid travels from her stomach to her mouth. At the moment, she's in the panicky phase, as she's come to call it. Fortunately, the elevator doesn't make any stops, and she reaches her destination in time for the next one, the one in which she starts to heave and gets sick.

* * *

High heels off, legs pushed against her chest, eyes closed and head resting on the concrete wall is how Harvey finds her. She fails to notice his approach and his concern increases. He'd never seen her like this, and he shivers at the memory of the way the panic attacks made him feel once they were over: upset, defeated and helpless. Was she feeling this way? And he increases his pace in order to reach and hold her in his arms. Needing to protect her.

"Donna," he calls as he reaches down to her, and she looks at him through hazy eyes. She's just come off it and shakes her head no.

"No Harvey, don't look at me like that..." she whispers and there's a mix of anger and embarrassment in her eyes.

"Donna, what happened?," his voice comes out in a low whisper and she closes her eyes once again.

"That woman...I've tried to keep it together, Harvey but she just pushed the right buttons today. She's dug up information about my father and used it to embarrass, belittle, and intimidate me…," Donna is so furious she can feel her hands tremble and a couple of warm tears roll down her cheeks.

"Donna, we need to talk about this, plan how we're going to deal with her. I'm sure we can come up with a contingency plan…"

"I don't want to talk about anything! " she angrily spits out and with difficulty gets up on her feet. The soft material of the mixed pleat black dress she's wearing, tangling in her legs as she rises from the floor. He tries to reach out and help her up but she brusquely brushes his arm away.

"Don't you get it? I don't want to talk! I don't want to discuss it! I don't _fucking_ want to make a plan!" Donna says as she tries to uncap the teal water bottle with no luck. Her throat feels dry and raw after she got sick, and she's been unable to get a drink of water.

Anger and pain and that sense of powerlessness rises in her as she tries to unscrew it one more time to no avail. Just as he's trying to reach over to help her with it, she turns and smashes the metallic bottle against the opposite wall. Her anger resonates as loud as the sound of metal hitting the concrete wall as she spouts a very loud and pained curse.

"_Motherfuckingshit_! _Fuck_! _Fuck_! _Fuck_!" she shouts and covers her face with one hand while the other pulls at her hair in a desperate and enraged motion.

Harvey reaches out for her, ready to fight her if necessary, but knowing he has to hold her in his arms as she begins to break down. Yet to his surprise, she goes into his arms easily and lets herself loosen up and cry. He doesn't know what to say so he remains silent while he holds her close to his chest, her head below his chin, while her inconsolable sobs pour out. Closing his eyes he buries his face in her hair and inhales the scent that is all Donna. He can feel his heart clenching at seeing her so broken and hurt. Her pain and anguish palpable.

And in this moment, Harvey can only hope she can feel the strength, support and unconditional love in his embrace.

* * *

A/N: Yikes! Angst is so angsty... Thanks to those of you who have read, favorited and decided to follow this little story. I'm crossing my fingers you continue to like it even if this update makes you feel so many feels. Talking about how it makes you feel, let me know what you think (wink, wink)

XX- Bellesrad


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"How are you feeling?" he asks, eyes focused on her face. They're sitting next to each other on a metal bench that someone probably dragged up there years ago.

She looks up from his shoulder and gives him a watery smile. Her face is pale, eyes swollen from crying, and her hair is disheveled. Yet, Harvey only sees the beautiful, strong, quick-witted and intelligent woman he unknowingly fell in love with at that bar nearly fourteen years ago.

"Better?" he whispers and squeezes her waist with his right hand while the other moves a stray strand of coppery hair from her face.

She nods and sighs against his shoulder and her eyes land on the smashed water bottle.

"Gosh! I really did that, didn't I?" she asks, embarrassment in her tone.

He looks over at the bottle and then at her and simply says, "It deserved it! It was being a little shit refusing to be opened… Good arm, by the way. Are you sure you don't want to try out for the Yankees? They need a better pitcher..."

"No!" she chuckles and bumps her shoulder against his at his tease. She knows he's doing it so to lighten the mood.

"Well, let me know if you change your mind. I know the manager and we need a win."

"Harvey, stop it…" she says amid a hiccupy giggle.

He turns around fully to face her and reaches out to caress her cheek. His fingers trace all the way to her chin while his brown eyes bore into her hazel ones and says, "I meant what I said last night, Donna. I'm here for you, and you can talk to me about anything…"

Her eyelashes flutter in embarrassment and pain, her eyes turning watery again.

"I know, Harvey… I just thought I would be able to handle it on my own, but now I know I can't."

"When did they start?" he asks without acknowledging it in full, waiting for her to say it.

She looks down at her hands and then back at his face.

"About two weeks ago. The first time was after we had that meeting with Louis at the IT department... They just kept getting worse, and I didn't know how to tell you..."

He sighs and looks into the darkening distance. The afternoon is slowly turning into evening, and shadows are cast here and there from the buildings across the city.

His hand reaches out to wrap around hers and squeezes it.

"Well, now I do and we'll handle this together, Donna. But you need to trust me. You have to let me in..."

She offers him a soft smile, "I'm sorry if it seemed otherwise, Harvey... I just really thought I would manage this by myself. You know I've always trusted you."

She props back against his shoulder and her arm goes around his waist seeking his embrace.

He fulfills her silent request, and brings her closer to him then kisses her forehead.

"I love you, Donna," his voice comes in a raspy, heartfelt whisper.

"I love you more," she responds and buries her face in his neck seeking solace and comfort.

They hold on to each other until the lights of the city are the only ones to glow in this starless night.

* * *

"Gretchen, do me a huge favor. Grab Donna's bag and laptop and bring it down to Ray," he tells the loyal secretary.

"Is Red ok?" she asks and he can hear her concern through the phone.

"She will be. Thank you for the heads up," he responds.

"I'm just glad to hear she's ok. Is there anything else you might need?"

"Not for now Gretchen. Thank you. If anyone asks, I went home after a court hearing and Donna's out in a meeting with clients that ran late."

"Done. I'll be discreet. See you tomorrow, Harvey. Please take care of Red."

"Will do."

He disconnects the call and then dials Mike's phone number. He turns and sees that Donna has already put her shoes on , and is using his handkerchief to wipe the smudged mascara from under her eyes.

"Hey Mike," he says leaving a voicemail, "We need to talk. Can you meet at my place in let's say 30-40 minutes? I'll see you then."

"Ready to go? Ray is waiting for us downstairs," he asks as he reaches a hand out to her. She places her smaller one in his and says, "What should I do with this bottle?"

He grabs it from her and throws it in a trash can that's next to the rooftop door.

"We'll get you another one. C'mon, Lefty Gomez, let's go home."

She laughs at this and replies, "Hey! I'd rather be Mariano Rivera…"

"A latin Donna Paulsen?" he wiggles his eyebrows, "me gusta!"

Donna shakes her head and pulls his hand so they can continue their way back.

"I really fell in love with an idiot..."

"Hey!" he objects but there's humor in his voice.

Donna seems to be in the clear, almost back to her regular self for now and that's reason enough to make him feel at ease, relieved .

* * *

She falls asleep against his shoulder on the ride home, and he kisses her forehead in order to wake her up once they reach their destination. He loves the peaceful look on her face as she sleeps, and never fails to enjoy the precise moment she awakens. Her eyelashes always make nervous little flutters for a second or so until she opens her still sleepy but beautiful eyes. Donna always appears to be a little lost while looking around adjusting herself to the light and surroundings, and always searches for him. And when she finally does find him, her entire self seems to relax. Her tender lips close and always turn into an alluring smile, and he feels the urge to kiss her. Which he does to her delighted surprise.

He helps her out of the car and wraps one arm around her in a protective fashion. Once they reach his penthouse, he asks if she would like him to draw her a bath and order some take out. She nods yes to the bath idea but declines dinner claiming that she'd rather go to bed directly after the bath. It has, after all, been a long, eventful day, and it had left her completely drained.

He takes off his tie, suit jacket and rolls up his shirt sleeves then heads to their master bathroom to set her bath. She goes to the closet to take out one of the pajamas she's brought over and a comfortable cardigan.

"Do you want the fresh fig honey bath or the sugar lychee sugarbath?" he asks reaching for the two jars and looking from one to the other.

She's barefoot and in the process of taking off her earrings when she walks into the bathroom.

"Fresh fig honey," she says and tries to reach for the zipper on the back of her dress.

"So... _honey_? Is that the term of endearment we'll be using then?" he asks while pouring the bath oil in the tub as it continues to fill with warm water.

"What?" she asks and drops the task of attempting to take off her dress to look at him in surprise.

"You said, _honey_..." he's closing the jar and smirks at her in that boyish manner she loves so much.

She shakes her head and chuckles as she reaches for the jar to show him the label that reads -_fresh fig honey bath_-

They both break into humorous laughter and then he reaches out for her, both his hands on her waist. The sound of water as it fills up the bathtub and the light, luxurious scent of the bath envelops them. He's focused on her face and watches as her gaze travels from his lips to his brown eyes then offers him a smile. His lips brush her soft ones and then kisses her fully. Both her hands cup his face as she enjoys the rapturous way his mouth commands her, coaxing her lips open, his tongue caressing hers. Breaking from the delightful kiss, his forehead comes to rest against hers.

"I do like the way _honey_ sounds," he teases and pecks her lips once again.

"You know what?" she asks, her thumb caressing his bottom lip, "I also like the sound of it, _honey._"

He smiles at her then gently turns her around and swipes her hair aside as he reaches for the back zipper on her dress.

"I believe this dress needs to come off, _honey..._"

And he places an open mouth kiss on the junction where her shoulders meet right below her neck. She leans back and allows him to continue and he proceeds to place one on her exposed right shoulder, then one on the left. He hears her sigh in pleasure and goes back to the starting point.

The doorbell goes off then and he reluctantly stops his loving ministrations.

"Is that Mike?" she asks, her voice sounding slightly deflated.

"Probably," Harvey responds and smacks her butt, "c'mon chucklebutt… time to take a bath and relax!"

"I liked honey better…" she offers him a pout but then rolls her eyes in fake annoyance, "and for the record, if there's a chucklebutt, then that would be you!"

He laughs and replies, "let me know if you need anything, honey."

She holds onto his hand and squeezes it, "I will… thank you, Harvey"

A smile appears on his face and with one last peck to her lips, he heads out to the living room allowing her to enjoy her bath time.

* * *

"Is she alright?" Mike asks as soon as Harvey opens the door.

"You knew?!" Harvey says as he walks behind Mike and head for the living room.

Mike's blue eyes wince but his face is full of concern so Harvey waves a hand meaning to let it go.

"I went into her office and she was going through one. I recognized the signs from when you used to get them…I told her to let you know. That you would understand."

"It doesn't matter Mike. I know now and we'll figure it out. We'll call Dr. Lipschitz tomorrow morning and schedule an appointment. She's taking a bath and will head off to bed right after. It was a rough day for her."

Mike smiles and his eyes twinkle with excitement as they always do when he sees that Donna and Harvey are finally together.

"Wipe that dopey smile off your face, Mike," he smirks at the younger man knowing exactly what's going through his mind, "are you hungry? Let's order something in."

Mike laughs as he loosens his tie and takes off his suit jacket.

"Sure! Let's get a pizza."

"What! Are you, fifteen? Let's order some burgers from that place by the place"

Mike nods at the jab and laughs. He loves being back home although he misses Rachel. However, he knows that she will give Donna a call very soon.

"Ok, so now that the food thing is settled, let's talk business. I met with Samantha and Katrina earlier today and we might have a solid plan…" Mike says as he takes a spot in his favorite leather chair next to the fireplace as he accepts the whiskey Harvey offers him.

Harvey also sits, takes a sip of his drink and nods.

"Ok, let's hear it…"

* * *

Donna is applying moisturizer to her face after the nice and long relaxing bath when she hears her phone alert her of an incoming iMessage. She smiles and heads off to the bedroom and picks up her phone.

_Hey! It's been a while since we talk… gimme a call when you're available._

She smiles and hits the call button as she plops on their comfortable bed, closing her eyes as she waits for Rachel to pick up.

"Hey!" Rachel's voice is as breezy and sweet as always.

"Hi, Rach! What's up? How's my little unborn nephew doing?"

Rachel laughs and it brings Donna joy to hear her friend so comfortable and happy.

"He's doing well so far… making me a little tired but everything looks fine according to our last doctor's appointment."

"Aww Rachel, I'm so happy for the both of you! And I can't wait to meet this little nugget of love when he's born."

They talk about other every day stuff and then Rachel hits her with the question she's been dreading. Because she knows Mike never hides anything from his wife, like ever.

"So what's going on with you? Mike told me that you're having a hard time with that Special master person poking around the Firm's business…"

"How much did he tell you?"

Donna can almost see Rachel cringe in embarrassment as she answers in a quiet and almost nervous voice.

"He told me you were having anxiety attacks but haven't told Harvey…"

"It's ok, Rachel… Uhmm, yeah they started two weeks ago and are getting worse. But don't worry, Harvey already knows," Donna then proceeds to tell her all about it. From how they began to how Harvey had helped her out today on the rooftop.

"That woman is horrible, Donna… How dare she bring your father's past into the mix? And questioning your dignity and integrity? Seriously! What a bitch! But, you have to remain strong, sweetie."

"I know Rachel and I'm trying but the pressure is making it so hard…"

"Rely on Harvey. He loves you and is there for you… Just don't keep things from him. That's one of the things that's made my relationship with Mike work. We tell each other everything, even the tough stuff. Otherwise, we wouldn't have survived this long," she says and goes on to tell her about how they say _bullshit _to talk and run down ideas about real and hypothetical scenarios.

"I promise I will lean on Harvey, and I also like this _bullshit _idea you posed," Donna tells her friend and smiles, "and don't worry about the anxiety attacks, we're calling Dr. Lipschitz first thing in the morning."

"I'm happy to hear that, Donna. Things will work out. Don't forget that we love you...and by we I mean me and this nugget. He can't wait to meet his Aunt Donna."

Donna feels her heart overflow with love at the thought of holding their friends' little baby boy in just a few months time.

"I love you both. Thank you for everything, Rachel. Good night."

"I'm a call away, don't forget that! Good night, Donna."

Donna disconnects the call, stretches her arms on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

She sighs and thinks about the day's events. There's so many people that have shown their love and support today: people at the Firm appreciate her; her friends are encouraging and considerate. She's going to get professional help, and most importantly, Harvey is her prime source of strength, love and understanding. She realizes now that telling him about her anxiety attacks has brought about the peace and calm she so badly needed.

She gets up and heads out to the living room where she knows that Harvey and Mike are probably coming up with a plan to fight the court-mandated investigation.

* * *

"And you're certain this will work out?" Harvey asks, a little skepticism in his voice.

Mike's blue eyes have that bright and excited look it often used to get when he got a break while working on difficult cases.

"I am… Samantha and I worked on the plan while Katrina made sure to double check the financial documents with Louis. Alex is trying to contact him. I know that the last three times he butted heads with you he got the short end of the stick…"

"That's because he's a loser..."

Mike shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows, "you need to take this seriously, Harvey. And give the guy some respect. If Alex convinces him to help out, you will have to at least be civil towards him…"

Harvey offers him an exasperated look.

"Sounds to me like Mike and the gang have come up with a pretty decent game plan, Harvey," Donna admonishes and gives him a sweet smile, "question is, are you ready to play ball?"

Harvey's face lights up and a smile draws on his face as he watches her walk across the living room.

Mike immediately gets up to greet her properly with a hug.

"It's good to have you back, Mike... Have you shared the news with Harvey?"

Mike's smile goes full-blown and Harvey demands to know what's going on.

Donna goes to the comfortable leather couch, wraps her feet under her as she watches Mike tell Harvey about the baby's gender. Harvey gives Mike a manly hug and pats his arm in congratulatory celebration. His gaze then drifts to Donna's and his eyes turn soft.

"Would you like anything to eat? Drink?"

"Maybe a glass of water," she responds and he heads off to the kitchen to get her some.

"How are you feeling?" Mike asks while his keen eyes settle on her face.

"I'm ok now...Had a really bad one this afternoon but Harvey helped me out. He knows and we're making a doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"Rachel said she would call you…Wait, that's how you knew about the baby's gender!" he laughs, "I thought you were pulling your Donna thing with me…"

Donna laughs along and declares, "For the record, I _did _call it when you guys first told me the news. But you were over the moon and thought you'd have a little girl…"

Harvey comes to sit next to Donna as he hands her a glass of water and asks what's going on. Mike goes to explain how he and Rachel thought they'd be having a girl but Donna had predicted otherwise.

"I guess Donna _does_ know everything," Mike's eyes glint with humor.

"She does," Harvey replies as he reaches out for her hand and squeezes it. Their eyes meet and she offers him a sweet smile which he returns.

Mike shakes his head in disbelief and grins. He really can't believe how much in love these two look. and takes it as his cue to leave.

"I think it's past my bedtime," he tells them and gets up. Turning to Harvey he says, "We'll have a meeting at the rooftop at around 3pm tomorrow. Each one of us is meant to have court hearings, client meetings or stuff outside the Firm so it won't be odd that we're not around."

Then turning to Donna he winks and says, "Donna, Gretchen will fill in for you for the scheduled meetings with Benjamin in IT and with the Purchases department, so we'll see you there."

Harvey then gets up to shake his hand, and after Mike hugs Donna goodbye, walks him to the door.

"She seems strong but she's still shaken. Take care of her for us, Harvey," Mike whispers as Harvey opens the front door. Harvey gives the younger man a serious look and says,"I will, Mike...She's everything to me, you know that."

Mike nods and smiles.

"Good night, Harvey"

"Good night, Mike"

Harvey closes the door and walks back to the living room where Donna is waiting.

"What was that about?" she asks him, a playful smile on her lips.

"That," Harvey points his finger at the door, "was Mike being Mike."

He reaches out both hands to her and she places her own on his. Gently pulling her to make her stand, he says,"c'mon honey, let's get you to bed..."

She then wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him softly. Looking into his eyes she whispers, "You're my everything, too, Harvey."

* * *

Donna knows that she's always been a strong-minded and optimistic person. Faye Richardson will not be the one to destroy her. She will _not_ allow that to happen.

Not today.

Not ever.

The exhaustion of the day, the soothing scent from her recent bath and the feel of Harvey's protective body encasing her whole, finally allow sleep to claim her body and mind. Thus, closing her eyes, she falls into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** _I know this was_ k_ind of longish... but, it was full of details which I hope you enjoyed! :) I know the last update was super angsty so I went a little softer with this one. I can't promise the next one will be equally sweet so savor this one! Once again, thanks for your love and appreciation for this little fic. It really means the world to me. And if you have a minute or two please let me know what you think. XX-Bellesrad (Loren)_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Just wanted to write a quick note to say that A) I'm in no way a legal expert (and it shows haha), and B) I wrote this taking in consideration everything we know so far. I sincerely have no idea how the show will address the issue, but this is my humble way of dealing with the facts at hand. _

_With that taken care of, I hope you guys enjoy this update and well, reviews are always the best gift to a writer... And, you guessed right! I love gifts! :) _

_XX- Bellesrad _

* * *

Sirens are wailing in the distance while the cacophony of cars and people talking as they walk down the streets mix to create some sort of urban melody. The sound of a city that is alive can be heard all around, yet for Donna, it's just another Tuesday. While the coffee looks the same as it does every afternoon, for some reason it leaves a bitter aftertaste in her mouth today. It's not a surprise, and she blames it on stress. Her appetite has been shot since Faye Richardson had installed herself at the Firm. And to her dismay, everything tastes like she's either chewing on a piece of cardboard or has no taste at all.

She's been trying to follow Dr. Lipschitz's advice to get out of the office a few times a day. Taking small breaks that will hopefully help her manage the level of anxiety that builds up from being caged within the office walls. He refused to give her pills to manage it, and instead decided to use a CBT approach. It has worked for the morning hours, but as the time nears for them to meet at the Firm's rooftop, her restlessness is on the rise. She can feel the panic bubbling within her again so she immediately makes use of the logic-question method Dr. Lipschitz taught her this morning and it helps quiet down her fears. She does a few of the breathing exercises and gives herself a couple of positive self-reminders which help make her feel almost normal again.

After discarding the half-filled coffee cup and almost the entirety of a veggie wrap in a nearby trash can, she makes her way back to office. She checks her phone, disables the Do Not Disturb feature and notices that she has just the right amount of time to get there. She feels ready to meet with all the name partners, Katrina and Mike and listen to their plan.

* * *

Harvey's eyes soften as he watches her tall and willowy approaching form. Her navy short sleeved dress with its irregular skirt sashays to and fro under her body fitting coat, hypnotizing him for a minute. She gives him a sideways look of both acknowledgement and censure when she comes to stand between him and a quiet, but observant Alex. Meanwhile, Katrina and Louis are whisper-talking to each other in those short and abrupt sentences that seem to be their communication method of choice. Samantha,on the other hand stands rigid, her hands deep into her coat pockets and is staring into the distance. Her eyes cool but Donna can sense the waves of uneasiness radiating off her. Mike is the last to arrive and his intelligent blue eyes take in the view, and she knows he's quickly assessing their disposition. When his gaze lands on Donna, a small smile and a quick mute "hi" forms on his lips. This helps break some of the tension she'd been holding and she can feel her shoulders relax. She hears Mike call for their attention and they begin the secret meeting.

"Thanks for coming I guess we're all concerned about the current Firm's situation and the possible domino effect that may be caused if Richardson's current investigation were to find viable evidence," Mike begins and has everyone's attention.

"Samantha here," and he points at the tall blonde who only nods, "and I sat down to look over the details and the actions that began the chain of events that have brought us to this point."

He stops and looks at Samantha coaxing her to explain their findings. Reluctantly, she takes the word and in her characteristic stringent tone explains some of the obscure details of this case.

"Prior to Robert's disbarment, he asked me to talk to both Kaldor and Ellen Rand and gave me carte blanche to negotiate a deal. But neither of them were willing to take the offers. These offers ranged from giving them most of Robert's client list and almost the entirety of his equity share."

This makes some of the name partners gasp and others to look at each other in surprise. Yet they allow Samantha to continue without interruption.

"While I dealt with Rand and Kaldor, he negotiated with Daniel Hardman and struck a deal: Robert would ensure he became a name partner at Rand Kaldor in exchange for not pursuing Harvey's ethics review and subsequent disbarment charges."

Mike looks at everyone of them as he states, "we all know how the ethics review played out, which brings us to the next piece of information… Pursuant to Rule 27 of the ABA's Model Rules for Attorney Disciplinary Enforcement, Robert had up to ten days to send legal notice to his clients about his disbarment. Granted, under this law, clients are free to retain new legal counsel but only after such legal notice has been issued and via certified mail..."

"But Kaldor jumped the gun and poached our clients before any of this happened. In fact, he had a list of clients as far as two days prior to Robert's disbarment," interferes Samantha, her eyes sharp and her tone incisive.

"How did he manage to get a list of our clients and how did he know this was going to happen? I mean, from a managerial standpoint and as COO, I didn't immediately send the legal notice. By law I was bound to wait for Robert's formal announcement, which didn't come from him until almost 24 hours later." Donna asks, a frown on her face and her hands move in that very distinctive manner that's so her.

"I had the same question, Donna. Right after the ethics review was over, Louis and I focused on protecting client information. We had the associates make sure that all client files were held and secured," Katrina interjects in her clipped, professional inflection.

"And I know for a fact that none were either requested nor transferred during that time frame. I can attest to this since I personally informed the clients that even though this had happened, their business with us wasn't in jeopardy. And they understood that their cases would be granted adjournment until these were assigned to either Harvey, Alex, Samantha or Katrina… Which led us to conclude that Daniel Hardman must've handed this information. As a former name partner he had access of our client roster and when Jessica let him go, he took the list with him ," Louis says, his face serious, almost irritated.

They all look at each other, surprised to hear how all of this information begins to provide a clearer picture of the situation. And how all of the pieces fit together to form a big, complex puzzle of deceit crafted by Daniel Hardman's mastermind.

Mike smiles and his eyes gleam with acuity,

"As you can see, all routes point to Hardman. However,Kaldor and Rand are incidentally accountable," he explains and then turns to his mentor and asks, "Harvey, would you care to tell us what charges would incur in this situation?"

Harvey shakes his head, his hands in his pants pockets and a smirk draw on his face, as he answers his former protegé's legal question.

"Torts 101, Mike… Under New York State law, Hardman, Rand and Kaldor could easily face punitive charges for misappropriation of trade secrets, aiding and abetting breach of fiduciary duty, and improper solicitation with tortious interference with prospective business relations."

All the lawyers nod their heads as they come to terms with this new information.

"And the beauty of this all," adds Mike, "is that all of these require disciplinary action. And since all three attorneys are already on probationary status due to several misdemeanors in the past, all of these charges could easily pave the road to their very own disbarment."

"Hardman has proven time and time again that he can weasel his way out of these things," Donna says concern marring her beautiful features, "how can we ensure he won't do it again? I mean, he has made it his job to bring this Firm down no matter what. His hate for Jessica, Harvey and Louis knows no bounds…"

Alex speaks up for the first time and his eyes are stern but his voice is clear and congenial, "Easy. Travis Tanner has agreed to come forward and testify with regards to the Coastal Motors case from a few years back. Daniel Hardman knew Tanner had an unsettled score with Harvey and thus provided his firm with false documents that prompted the cease of the statute of limitations, and thus, reopening of the case. Tanner thought he could win this case and also pursue Harvey's disbarment because he really thought Harvey had perjured himself. But when he figured out Hardman's deceit, he decided to settle."

Harvey is surprised to hear that his longtime nemesis is willing to testify in his favor and looks from Alex to Mike, disbelief rendered on his face as he asks, "how do we know he won't decide to backtrack on this?"

"Tanner might be an asshole, but he has principles. When he found out that you never received the memo, therefore, never committed perjury, he saw you in a new light," Mike explains, "He respects that in you and is willing to settle the score for once and all. In his words, _-Harvey's a worthy opponent. I got sucker punched twice by him, that doesn't happen to me often. THAT right there is what makes him the guy I want to battle with. I want him to live another day so I can face him in court fair and square.-"_

"Plus, he signed an affidavit. Tanner's secured, and there's no way for him to retract his testimony," Alex ensures the rest of the partners.

A few more details are mentioned in passing and then Mike speaks up again, "We have enough documentation that provides the evidence necessary to clear this whole legal proceeding. Harvey's name would be cleared and Specter Litt Wheeler Williams would be vindicated. Regardless of Robert's disbarment, the NY Bar Association will have to issue a statement saying that this Firm is no longer under investigation, no evidence whatsoever was found and the charges, dropped."

"I've already arranged a meeting with Richardson at 6. We will be presenting our case as soon as possible so prepare yourselves for a long night," Louis informs and the meeting comes to an end. Each one of the partners makes their way to the exit, eager to return to their offices and prepare whatever other documents they might need.

"Level with me," Donna whispers as she falls behind the rest of the group and walks next to Harvey. He nods at her and gives her a questioning look.

"Do you really think this will work? Louis seems so certain of all this and Mike looks like, well, Mike..." she asks, insecurity in her voice.

Harvey smiles and look tenderly at her as he responds, "I think someone not long ago told me, in her words: _I think desperate times require desperate measures_…"

"Harvey!" she tilts her head to the side and gives him a playful but reprimanding look.

A more serious expression then appears on his face. Noticing that they're the last ones left on the rooftop, he reaches for her hands and squeezes them.

"I think we can trust them. They've worked so hard to find the legal standings for this and so far I can't find a way to retort it… I'm positive this will work out," he explains and her face regains some confidence as he provides her with his legal opinion on the matter.

She nods at him and squeezes his hands back as a shy smile lights up her face.

He leans forward, releasing her hands and pulling on her waist bringing her towards him, as he gently kisses her forehead.

"C'mon, let's go before we arise any suspicions from Richardson," his clear baritone comes as a soft and raspy whisper. And opening the rooftop door they head back to their everyday business.

* * *

Donna reads the document one more time and nods.

"I think this looks good, Gretchen. We need to keep the Firm's visibility and showcase our positive values. We have taken a hit with Robert's disbarment but it also gives us a chance to stress that we are keeping the key people and roles in order to maintain good performances," she tells the older secretary who nods in agreement. Donna signs the document and gives it to Gretchen so it can be released by their communications department.

"What about the weekly marketing plan? Do you want to review it right now or should we wait until tomorrow?" Gretchen asks as looks over her glasses at Donna who was at the moment typing something on her laptop.

Donna looks up and winces, "are the data and analytics already on the report dashboard?"

Gretchen nods and can't help but notice how the light reflecting from the open laptop showcase the COO's exhaustion. There are slight dark circles under her eyes which are professionally covered with concealer, and an almost imperceptible tic on her left upper eyebrow that Gretchen has come to recognize as a sign of distress on the younger redhead.

"And don't forget that you have that early meeting with the associates tomorrow to communicate next terms processes, rules and policies adjustments…," Gretchen reminds her.

"Shit! I'd forgotten about that! Remind me to update my calendar, please," Donna says as her hands go to her head and leans against the white, comfortable executive chair.

"I already did… But I can adjust the settings so you can get earlier reminders. Plus, I added in the break times so you can step out of the office for much needed breathers throughout the day," Gretchen adds.

Donna slants her head and gives Gretchen a grateful smile which the older woman understands as a thank you.

"Well, well… if it isn't my favorite COO and her most loyal assistant," the crisp, clear voice of Faye Richardson rings as the attorney enters Donna's office without notice.

"Good evening Mrs. Richardson," Gretchen says as she gets up and gathers her things, "Please let me know what time you want to meet to go over the plan, Ms. Paulsen."

Donna nods and says thank you as the older secretary leaves the office space.

"What can I do for you, Mrs. Richardson?" Donna asks and gently folds her laptop closed while looking at the Special master.

"Just checking in with you," the older woman says and hands over a folder with documents to Donna, "I want you to look at these figures and explain this to me: how can a firm that has been under fire since Jessica Pearson's disbarment, been able to maintain such high quotas? And then with Robert's the numbers didn't suffer much either… Which makes me wonder, where is the money flow coming from."

Donna takes the folder and opens it up to familiar data and analyses. The same she had comprised with her team for the last five quarters. It angers her that Faye's questioning the Firm's financials but she does a good job at keeping her antagonism at bay.

She stands up, thus choosing to remind Faye Richardson that they stand on equal ground. Handing back the folder and looking at the woman square in the eye, she states, "Our team's approach is always proactive and strategic, Mrs. Richardson. We are not reactionary and instead we remain focused on the numbers and data at all times to examine internal processing times, associates and partners performance, as well as their success rates to allocate personnel respectively."

She can see the woman narrowing her eyes and a red flush seems to cover her face. Donna chooses the next words carefully and her poise remains confident while her voice sounds smooth and impartial as she continues, "Focusing on the measurable data, tweaking our Firm's processes to control costs and communicating new service plans, as well as leveraging the infrastructure, have been key to keeping the revenue. Illegal monetary proceedings and arrangements have never been part of our mission and vision, Mrs. Richardson."

Faye glares at her and ire seems to shoot out of her entire body. Donna can tell she's suppressing it by the way she holds the folders. Her hands tremble and had it not been paper she was holding, she would've broken the material by now. She opens her mouth to retort when Louis walks in and interrupts the conversation. If this could be called a conversation, more like an accusation, Donna thinks.

"Good, you're both here," Louis says and looks at both of them then turns to Faye, "you ready for our 6 o'clock, Faye?"

Faye Richardson nods her head and begins to walk towards the door. She's about to step out of the COO's office when she turns and nods at Donna. Her eyes say, _this is not over_. And as an answer, Donna gives her an equanimous stare and nods back. _Bring it on, Faye_, she seems to convey with her eyes, _I'm ready. _She was done shadowboxing and for once, she felt ready to fight and win it all.

* * *

She sits back and allows herself to blow out air through her mouth in an exhale.

"Not bad, Red," she hears Gretchen say and she looks up to find the older woman standing by the door, "Not bad."

Donna chuckles and shakes her head as she rearranges her documents and grabs her laptop. "

"It's time for the partners meeting with her," she walks towards the door and stands in front of Gretchen as she continues, "so, I would say that what happened right here was just the warm up, Gretchen."

Gretchen places a hand on Donna's forearm and whispers, "but you got this one, Red. And I think you've fought the monster and won. I didn't see not even a drop of sweat form on that pretty forehead of yours…"

Donna offers her a warm smile and understands Gretchen's message. And it was true, she didn't get the anxiety surge nor had it developed into a full blown attack.

Placing her own hand over Gretchen's she softly says, "I appreciate all your help, Gretchen."

Then she takes off in the direction of Conference Room B at the end of the long, expansive hallway.

"You go get 'em, Red," Gretchen whispers to herself, a proud smile on her face, as she watches Donna disappear down the corridor.

* * *

"Thanks for waiting, Ray," her voice sounds breathless as she enters the town car and notices Harvey's not in it.

"Are we waiting for Harvey?" she asks as she settles her bag and puts on the seatbelt.

"No, Donna. I drove him home a little earlier. Said he had some business to take care of," Ray answers as he maneuvers the car down the streets of Manhattan.

Donna frowns and takes out her phone. _Business to take care of?_ She wonders and sends him an iMessage:

_Hey you! (heart emoji) I'm on my way home._

The meeting with Faye Richardson and the partners had lasted well over three hours and even though she was exhausted, she'd told Harvey, she had to stay for maybe an hour longer. Gretchen had so kindly waited for her, and together they had finished up the marketing plan, as well as the presentation on the new policies and processes they would present to the associates the next morning.

Her phone vibrates and she looks down at his response:

_See you soon! (heart eyes emoji)_

She smiles and releases a relaxed sigh. Never in a million years had she ever thought she and Harvey would be in relationship, much less that they would be exchanging messages with silly love emojis. Leaning back into the headrest, she closes her eyes and enjoys the short drive home.

* * *

She opens the door and the delicious aroma of food assaults her as soon as she steps into the penthouse apartment. Leaving the keys in the ceramic bowl by the entry table, she takes off her shoes and walks barefooted to the kitchen.

"What's cooking?" she asks and Harvey turns from the stove and offers her his characteristic Cheshire smile.

Leaning towards him, he takes her offer and kisses her lips.

"I'm almost done. Just need to season the mashed potatoes and dinner will be served."

"Oh nice! I'm just going to put these away in the home office, freshen up and join you, ok?" she says and heads in that direction.

He's already served the grilled meat, mashed potatoes and salad when she returns. And with easy familiarity she takes out the silverware and sets their places as he opens a bottle of red wine and serves it on two tall wine glasses.

He offers her a seat and she lifts herself on the tall chairs facing the kitchen counter and grabs the wine glass. He sits and takes his own and looks at her, love and affection fill his eyes.

"So," she begins, eyes glinting with mischief, "this was the business you had to take care of…?"

He nods, "We had an eventful day and I thought, I'll cook dinner for my hard-working girlfriend."

Donna gives him a bashful smile and looks down, but soon enough his hand reaches out and touches her chin bringing her face to him. He leans over and kisses one corner of her mouth and then the other, taking his time. His mouth then moves over hers, his sensual lips extracting a wet, sensual kiss from her own. He tastes like wine but mostly he tastes like him, and she savors on it.

She feels as his hand drifts over her waist and moves up to palm her breast, while the other slips beneath the irregular hemline of her dress to caress her inner thigh. All these sweet touches feel like an emotion overdrive, and she feels as her breath comes out on a sigh against his lips.

She finds herself leaning over wanting more but he then chooses to break the kiss. Her eyes are lust-filled and hazy when he looks at her, pupils dilated and cheeks flushed. He loves this look on her and he wishes he could take her to bed right away. However, he knows Donna and she's probably only had one of those disgusting veggie wraps she enjoys so much and copious amounts of coffee. Plus, he's pretty certain she didn't have anything while going over the report with Gretchen. Her mind is always laser focused on the task at hand, and food is never even close to her thoughts when she's elbows deep in work.

He caresses her swollen lower lip with his thumb and smiles at her as he says, "there's plenty of that for later, Ms. Paulsen. But first, dinner."

He hands her the cutlery and she nods, understanding that he's taking care of her in the best way he knows how.

"I love you, Harvey," Donna says, a sweet smile on her lips as she looks at him with loving eyes.

His eyes turn soft and he whispers, "I love you more."


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: And we've finally reached the final chapter for Shadowboxer. Thank you for coming along on this journey where I've challenged myself to write angst and dialogue. I really hope it's been to your liking :) And, as we wrap up #Suitsmonth, I wanted to gift you all with a lengthy, full-packed last chapter. __Thanks for your reviews and direct messages via WA or Twitter. And thanks to Lena lennnaxoxo for helping with the German (kissing cat emoji)_

_This one is for you all! _

_Happy #Darveyweek! _

_XX- Bellesrad (LorenC)_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

The drawn curtains in the bedroom shield them from the early morning sunlight, but one or two seem to rebel and land on her beautiful naked form. The soft light illuminating her copper hair and producing an almost halo effect on her face.

Her eyes are closed, oblivious to his observant eyes and he revels on her beauty. Her mouth is slightly open, small breaths escaping her pouty lips. He licks his own when he remembers how delicious those tasted the night before. The blanket is barely covering her chest and the countless, playful freckles cover her slender neck and shoulders. She's on her side, facing him and he leans over toward her right collarbone and places a wet sensual, kiss on it. Then following a path to his favorite spot, he does the same with her shoulder. His sensual expedition ends right below her earlobe, where it's warm and her scent concentrates in such a way that it nearly drives him insane.

She stirs and flutters her eyes open, a sleepy smile on her lips. She leans closer to him so he can continue with his delicious kisses. But to her surprise, and therefore, releasing a surprised but pleased squeak, he brings her flush against him in a swift motion. Laughter forms in his throat and resonates against her skin. However, he doesn't stop placing the languid yet debaucherous kisses, his teeth sensually biting the column of her neck in that way he knows she loves so much. All the while, one hand slides down from the back of her neck all the way to her lower back eliciting a tremor of pure bliss from her. A low moan escapes her lips, and she pulls him closer against her, feeling him hard and ready against her stomach.

Snaking her arm over his neck, one of her hands reaches over and pulls on his head as her deft fingers slip through his soft hair, slightly pulling on it as his kisses intensify. He searches for her mouth then and their lust-filled eyes meet for a split second right before his lips maneuver hers in a sinful, open-mouthed kiss.

The wetness of the kiss combined with his masterful tongue make her stir in need, her hips moving against him of their own volition. Her skin burns with need, and her core is slick and oh so wet with desperate longing. And he realizes how turned on she is as his hand lands there, his fingers drenched as soon as they slide into her. Her inner lips full, her clit hard and engorged, and she shamelessly presses against his hand trying to fulfill her carnal need. He slides two then three fingers easily into her as his thumb rubs her sensitive bud, making her gasp against his mouth. Her eyes shut closed as he finds that disarming spot, and her fingers pull slightly harder on his hair while her entire body, flushed and sweaty, trembles against him. He can feel her violently clench in wave after wave of sheer pleasure and a rush of moisture coats his fingers.

"Harvey," she whispers against his neck, her voice sounding breathless, "please fuck me."

He maneuvers her body and her back lands gently but steadfastly against the soft, plush covers of their bedding and he looks at her. She offers him a smile, her features consumed by desire and he leans down to capture her swollen lips once again. He takes both her hands and pushes them up against the bed frame, then holding them with one hand he proceeds to kiss her neck, and licks her collar bones until he reaches one nipple and takes it into his mouth. Sucking hard on it, he hears her moan and he releases it with a pop to then move on to the other one and repeats the motion. His other hand squeezes the abandoned orb and her legs wrap around him trying to create some friction and quench her need.

His cock pulsates with ache but he wants to savor her first before letting himself get lost in her pleasure. His skillful mouth and tongue reach her belly and he licks around the indentation of her navel and she pants in pleasure. Releasing her hands his mouth finally lands in that sweet, coveted spot but he decides to torture her some more. He kisses her inner thighs, first the right one then the left, kissing and licking until she pulls on his hair on a moan.

"Harvey... _please_," she whines and he gives in.

He nips her swollen inner lips and then his tongue takes a swipe from bottom to top ending on her engorged clit. His tongue presses against it and then his lips nibble on it. The suction he applies next making her squirm and he keeps her legs spread open so he can continue to feast on her. His tongue licks and enters her in almost endless flickering sensual caresses, her juices coating his mouth. Then he stops, deciding it's been enough. Lapping his tongue one last time against her drenched pussy he climbs back up. He wipes some of the moisture off his mouth with the back of his hand while her hand squeezes his throbbing cock, which she blindly found, as his mouth lands on hers again. Tasting herself on his lips, she moans and her hand helps guide his cock into her wet, needy core.

He swallows her gasp as he enters her in a single motion. He slick channel making it easy for him to slide out again and then plunge back in. His powerful thighs separating hers as he rhythmically drives in and out, again and again and again. She hangs on to his back, her hands caressing from his strong, muscular shoulders all the way down to his ass.

Their kisses are wet and carnal as their passion increases in thunderous speed. His mouth finally lands on her neck and sucks on the skin there while hers nip and suck on his shoulders. The sounds of their lovemaking fill the air, and she feels herself getting closer and closer to her breaking point. And as though sensing her need, he slides one hand in between them and reaches for her clit. The wetness there makes it easy for him to rub it in slick circles and his mouth once again searches for hers.

He can feel her channel begin to ripple, the waves of her imminent orgasm faintly squeezing and releasing his cock in a sensual, clenching motion. The shiver that runs down his spine as his balls contract, tell him that he's also close. Rubbing her engorged bud with more intensity and plunging in and out of her faster and faster, his voice comes in a hoarse whisper next to her ear as he says, "come for me Donna,"

The moan and gasp she releases gets lost in his rapturous mouth and he feels her violently grasp and release his cock as her channel squeezes him tightly. Her fingers sensually scratching his back combined with her thunderous climax, extract his own and he bites her shoulder amid his own powerful release. He licks the skin he bit and gasps as he continues to pummel in and out of her, squeezing to the last of her orgasm.

She pushes his head against her neck and he kisses the freckles there until their breaths even out. Her legs are still wrapped against him but they've lost their strength upon her climax. His in and out motions slow down, the slickness of their release making a wet, popping sound as he finally pulls out of her.

HIs arms are holding her against him and his mouth finds her, and gives her a leisurely, sensual kiss. He then looks at her and their eyes meet. Her skin is flushed, eyes bright and pupils slightly dilated, hazy with the afterglow and she smiles back at him. A finger reaching gently to caress the mole next to his mouth, her voice still slightly breathless, she says, "well, that was some wake up call, Mr. Specter."

He gives her his characteristic Cheshire smile, "I aim to please, Ms. Paulsen," and with that his mouth searches for hers yet again.

* * *

They make it to the office in time for an impromptu meeting Louis convened just a few minutes earlier, and the name partners join Faye Richardson in the now familiar Conference Room B. It seems to them that the woman never slept because she claims to have a final resolution from the judge with regards to the Firm's investigation.

"After careful consideration and a systematic review of the evidence your team presented, I have informed the judge in the NY Unified Court System and then NY bar association that there was no evidence of fraud nor malpractice on behalf of Specter Litt Wheeler Williams. However, as per request of the court, I will be writing the recommendations that this Firm will have to follow without protest. My report with the findings and these recommendations will be ready by the end of the week. However, the NY bar association will be issuing a public statement releasing this Firm of the accusations and offering a public apology as well."

Then turning to Harvey she says, "As for you Mr. Specter, all charges have been erased from your file and your name is in the clear. However, I advice you tread carefully...the lines of justice may seem blurry at times, just keep yourself on the lawful end."

Harvey nods and gives her a cool smile, "don't worry, Faye. Being an attorney involves risk-taking, it comes with the territory… you of all people, know it to a tee."

Faye Richardson shakes her head and smiles, truthfully for once.

"Well, it seems like I'll be leaving the premises tonight and you will be able to fall back to your day to day starting tomorrow…Louis, I'm hereby appointing you name partner once again. You can take the reins of your firm," Faye says as she gets up from her seat.

"Thank you for your objectivity and thoroughness to seek justice in this case, Faye," Louis says, "I'm sure that I speak for all name and senior partners as I say this."

Samantha offers a nod but her eyes remain cool and her face collected. Alex doesn't say anything but his eyes are full of understanding. Donna looks at the blonde woman and nods as well, but their eyes clash and she gets the impression that they're not done yet. And she wonders not if, but when, Faye Richardson will seek her out and settle the score. Donna has a feeling that this will happen sooner rather than later.

Without anything else to discuss, they all walk out of Conference Room B and head back to their offices. Harvey uses the time to call Mike, who's on his way to the airport, and tells him of Richardson's decision. He uses this as an opportunity to thank him for all his help in turning this case around in their favor.

"We'll have to celebrate soon," Mike says, his clear, intelligent voice ringing through the phone.

"Let's make it a double celebration," Harvey says and smiles, "when your son's born, Donna and I will fly there. What do you say?"

"Sounds fair, besides, Reginald Michael Ross will be more than thrilled to meet his godparents," the young man says.

Harvey laughs at the information his former protegé provides and says, "I don't think Robert will be excited to have his grandson shares a name with me..."

Mike laughs along with Harvey and replies, "well, Rachel and I already decided on it ,and he'll have to deal with it. You and Donna have been an integral part in our personal and professional lives. Plus, I bet Donna is going to love having a Reggie to tease..."

This elicits a belly laugh from Harvey but he soon mellows down, "thank you, Mike. That means a lot to me, as I'm sure it will mean a lot to Donna as well."

Just then the redhead walks into his office holding a document for him to sign. He admires her beautiful form encased today in a red, asymmetric midi dress. Along with some asymmetric strappy red pumps making her legs appear longer while the wave-hem moves to and fro offering him a view of her thighs. Thighs he had kissed and licked that morning to his heart's content. At this point, he seriously thought she wore those dresses to rile him up every time he sets his eyes on her at the office.

It's like she knows what he's thinking, her left eyebrow rising as she gives him a quick look of reproach, while her lips purse in a smile that says he should quit it.

"I will tell her," he says into his phone and bids Mike goodbye.

"So what is it?" she says handing him the document and offering him a pen to sign it.

"You look beautiful," he says and she narrows her eyes.

"Harvey, we've just been cleared of so many misdemeanor charges… don't tempt the devil,"

He wrinkles his nose and replies, "She DOES look a little evil, right?"

Donna laughs and points at the document.

"Sign the document, Harvey and tell me what were you and Mike laughing about."

Harvey hands back the document and relaxes against his leather executive chair.

"Our godson will be named after yours truly," he goads.

Donna laughs and shakes her head.

"Another Harvey?! Please, one is enough… Wait a minute! Does Rachel even know about this?"

"No, not _Harvey_. Reginald Michael Ross," he beams with pride.

Donna's good natured laughter rings through the office and he smiles at her. And then her eyes shoot open in surprise.

"Oh dear lord! Wait until Robert finds out…," she laughs once again then says,"he's SO going to disown those two fools."

She grabs the signed document and shakes her head.

"Want to grab lunch together?" she asks while turning around as she reaches his office door.

"If by lunch you mean...," he responds and suggestively wiggles his eyebrows at her to which she shakes her head and replies, "You're impossible, Harvey."

He laughs as he watches her walk down the hallway but at the last minute he's stunned to see her quickly turn around and wink at him. Then with the same agility, she turns back around, and falls back into her regular pace as she disappears down the corridor.

This woman was going to be the death of him, he concludes and begins to name the Supreme Court Justices in an attempt to control his burgeoning erection.

* * *

"Of course, Mr. Franz," a smile on her face as she carries the conversation with a top Swiss pharma chairman.

"You can rest assured that Specter Litt Wheeler Williams will take care of it with the same precision your top drugs work to cure illness. You have my word. Yes, I will... _Ich wünsche Ihnen noch einen schönen Tag_"

She disconnects the call and holds her phone close to her chest as she looks out to the late night New York skyline. The thousands of lights flicker and illuminate the darkness bringing her a sense of comfort and companionship.

"So, this is _how_ a law firm COO conducts business?"

Donna jumps in surprise and turns around to see the older blonde woman entering her office.

"It's late and you're still here, Mrs. Richardson."

"The same could be said about you, Ms. Paulsen," she icily says and looks around the dimly lit office.

"Do you always stay this late? I couldn't help but notice that you and Harvey Specter are the only C-suite managers left here tonight."

Donna narrows her eyes at the implication but keeps her cool and chooses to place her phone down on her desk and to remain standing.

"Louis Litt, our managing partner…" she answers in her usual composed and steady voice, "sometimes leaves the responsibility to the rest of us. You DO know he has a very pregnant wife at home, right?"

"So you're saying he leaves work responsibilities to less capable hands?"

Donna knows Faye Richardson is just throwing vile statements to rile her up. Unfortunately for the blonde lady, this isn't Donna's first rodeo.

"Unless you're saying that having very well defined organizational processes, an internal support system, and being highly efficient at what we do makes us incompetent… I don't really agree with your assessment."

Faye Richardson's hard blue eyes settle on Donna's face and offers her an equally cool smile.

"I had been warned… You're good Ms. Paulsen, but I'm better."

"At judging people? I don't think that's filed under my list of abilities," Donna's quick retort grants her a glacial stare from the older lady.

"And what would be filed under _your_ list of abilities, Ms Paulsen?" she crosses her arms in a confrontational stance, "because last time I checked, you have a bachelor's in theater and no legal experience to speak of, to grant you this position…"

Donna feels her blood boil and fights the urge to slap that smile off Richardson's face. But she draws in a deep breath and smiles coolly instead

"You seem to choose to ignore that I worked at the New York's District Attorney's Office for over six years and I've been a legal executive for that past 13 at this law firm," she begins walking closer to her attacker, asserting herself and making sure she knows that Donna Roberta Paulsen doesn't hide. Ever.

"But most importantly" she continues, "you forget that the spectrum of my job exceeds legal knowledge. In order to do what I do, you need to have a management style that is dialogue-oriented. One that entails having a sense of empathy and respect for your fellow co-workers, regardless of their position. This job is about having a sense of fairness and understanding, and also, being able to convey a sense of shared responsibility. What _I do_ on a daily basis is not about winning in a court of law or arguing cases… It's more than a mere leadership role, it's a human endeavor. But I'm sincerely beginning to doubt you would even fathom understanding the scope of it..."

"Careful Ms. Paulsen… you're bordering insubordination," Faye's eyes narrow as she looks at the redhead.

"For speaking the truth? For defending my workplace dignity and honor after you have implied I haven't earned this position via a fair internal promotion system?" she counters.

Faye Richardson uncrosses her arms and takes a step back at the power of Donna's argument. And suddenly realizes that Donna Paulsen might not be a lawyer, but she sure knows how to contend a point.

Donna closes her eyes and suddenly becomes conscious of the way she has just spoken to the court-appointed Special master. The one person with the power to make or break the firm, even if she's already issued the statement that it was clear of any accusations. But she still had a say in what will be her recommendations within her final report to the judge.

"Mrs. Richardson," she begins her voice losing the raw edge it had just a few seconds ago.

"I have worked my entire career to get where I am," she says in her most composed tone, "as a woman you must understand how much we must struggle with gender bias, the lack of sponsorship and being discredited." _Like you're doing right now,_ she thinks but leaves it out of her delivery.

Faye's cool blue eyes seem to shift in quiet understanding but remains silent. This cues Donna to continue with what she has to say.

"Pearson Hardman offered me an opportunity to thrive in an environment that had excellent role models and an inclusive workplace. That is a rarity on its own. How many law firms offer that? And it _is_ what Specter Litt Wheeler Williams continues to offer to so many that work here. It's the place _**I**_ hope to continue to build every day. This is my home, don't take this away from me…"

Faye Richardson doesn't say a word but nods her head, "it's late Ms. Paulsen. Maybe it would be best if we called this a night."

Donna nods in resignation, understanding that this woman remains immovable and set in her ideas.

Faye is about to step out of the redhead's office but stalls for a minute. Turning around, she directs her cool gaze at the elegant and poised younger woman.

"For the record, Specter Litt Wheeler Williams and all the names it's carried before, has always been a law firm that stands out in ratings for being an inclusive and safe workplace … a coveted and highly contested one among young associates and experienced lawyers. I must say, their COO must be doing one hell of a job…"

Donna watches the older lady walk away, a stunned look on her face as she realizes that Faye Richardson has, in one way or another, given her a major compliment. Smiling, she heads back to her desk, sits down and wakes up her laptop. Shaking her head she instead shuts it down and pick up her phone. There's still a million things for her to do but right now she only wants to be with the one she loves. Picking up her phone she writes a quick message.

_-I'm done for the day. What do you say we meet down at the lobby and have Ray drive us to Del Posto to celebrate? It IS Wednesday, after all…_

_-Count me in, Paulsen. Last one to get to the car will get to be on top tonight!_

_\- Are you 12?!_

_-inches…? (eggplant emoji)_

_-You wish! You're an idiot, Specter (eyes rolling emoji)_

She shakes her head in amusement and begins to put away everything for the day. She was just done placing her laptop in her work bag and picking up her coat, when she hears the phone chime again. She narrows her eyes as she notices it's a message from Harvey. Waiting to read a teasing response, Donna opens the imessage app, but instead she feels her heart melt as she reads the short, heartfelt message.

_-I love you Donna. _

And she quickly types her response as she leaves her office.

_-I love you, too, Harvey._

* * *

P.S./ Would you fancy a nice, fluffy epilogue? Or would it be too bleh?


	6. Epilogue

_A/N: __Well, this is really the end. Once again, thank you for your kind and welcoming response to this small fic. I hope I'm able to fulfill your request for an epilogue full of fluff and tenderness. Please let me know if I did... Enjoy the first episode of S9 tonight and catch you all on Twitter! - XX, Bellesrad (Loren)_

* * *

Epilogue

It's been two months since Donna had started CBT therapy with Dr. Lipschitz and she feels very much satisfied with the way she's evolved under his care. The anxiety attacks are 95% under control and she only has to resort to breathing exercises and logic based questioning to regain her composure. So far, she hasn't broken down the way she last did at the Firm's rooftop. But in part she has Harvey to thank for her progress. He's been supportive all along and his keen eye to detail, especially when it's about her, has been key to preventing the stress that may trigger her attacks. He's been an active and patient listener, never assuming how she feels, and allows her to feel and think freely, which she appreciates. And his tender, loving care and understanding is something she cherishes so much.

Ray is already waiting outside when she leaves Dr. Lipschitz office and she enjoys the crisp air of this beautiful late Summer evening. She's surprised to see Harvey step out of the backseat and that Specter smile melts her heart. He waves his hand at her and mouths a "hey". She smiles back at him and nods. He will forever make her feel like the teenager who's getting picked up for prom by the gorgeous popular guy. He walks around the car and reaches out for her. She slides her hand in his and he kisses her lips, lightly.

"Ready to go?" he asks and then he pulls the car door open,"Louis is waiting for us at the hospital. He's a nervous wreck."

"Please tell me you were supportive, Harvey," she says in an admonishing tone as she slides into the car seat and puts on her seatbelt. She watches as he heads to the opposite end and slides next to her in the car. Ray then begins to navigate the city streets heading in the direction of the hospital as they continue their discussion in the back of the town car.

"C'mon, Donna… it's Sheila who's having their baby! But he's acting as though it were him giving birth tonight," Harvey's voice is mocking as he responds with a smirk.

She slants her head and stares him down in that way that makes him feel like a child being called on for being petulant and mean by his very attractive preschool teacher.

"Ok, ok," he begins and rolls his eyes, "I promise that I won't bother Louis tonight…"

She smiles at him and reaches out to fix his tie.

"That's better Specter. It's their night and their child is coming into the world. It may not be a big deal to you but to them, it's their universe."

He nods in understanding and looks from her lips to her eyes and softly asks, wonder in his voice, "Who are you? And why are you so wise, like, always?"

She kisses his lips, knowing full well that that's exactly what he wants, and smiles as she leans into her seat comfortably.

"I've been telling you since the minute we met, Harvey… I'm Donna, and I know everything."

He smiles back and his hand reaches out for hers, their fingers easily intertwining. Bringing their joined hands to his lips, he kisses hers and then says, "I guess I'm just a lucky fool to have met you then…"

She smiles sweetly at him, "I think we both are lucky fools to have found each other, Harvey." And she squeezes his hand in reassurance.

* * *

They announced to the rest of the senior partners and associates within the Firm they were officially a couple a few days after the birth of Louis and Sheila's baby. With Harvey having to step up to fulfill the managing partner duties while Louis took some paternity leave to bond with both the baby and Sheila. Neither Harvey nor Donna wanted to confuse anyone and allow gossip to dampen their relationship.

To their surprise, everyone took it quite well and the sentiment among the Firm was more of a "Gosh! Finally!" While for others it was a given, since Harvey and Donna had always shared such a close relationship that they'd often assumed both were a couple already.

With that off their chests, they were able to enjoy the flirty banter and slight touches during their work hours. And there was no reason to hide whether or not they wanted to have lunch together or leave work at the same time. Granted, they always behaved as appropriately as possible being both C-suite managers. With Donna setting office sex as a hard limit, one in which they would not engage ever, as much as they both desired it at times. The glass walls of their offices making it too easy for someone to catch them going at it.

This weekend marks their three month anniversary and Harvey told her Friday night to pack a bag because they would be driving to Boston. She knows what that means and it makes her feel slightly anxious. Harvey would officially introduce her to his mother and granted, she'd already met Marcus but this time around, things would be under different circumstances.

So this crisp Saturday morning, she decides to wear her most comfortable slim cut black pants, a V-neck camel colored cashmere sweater along with her trusted ankle booties. it's best to be comfy while traveling but so is keeping a stylish attire. It's beginning to feel like Fall so she also takes a scarf and puts on her cute black captain's hat. She's packed a light assortment of casual clothes as she waits for Harvey to arrive with one of the muscle cars he loves to drive. To her surprise, though, he brings the Aston Martin DB9 claiming that he wants her to feel comfortable during the three and a half hours long drive.

They arrive at Lily's house and she feels just a tad nervous, something which she never experiences and is relatively easy for her to control. Harvey takes notice and holds her hand as they walk up the steps to the front door. He squeezes it and smiles at her, his brown eyes full of love and understanding. She smiles back at him and his touch helps calm her nerves.

Lily opens the door and smiles at them both, reaching for Harvey for a hug first, then he introduces Donna. Lily hugs Donna and with one hand she keeps a hold of Donna's arm while her other is holding Harvey's hand. Looking from her to him and back to Donna again, a smile on her face.

"So she is the one?" she whisper-asks Harvey and Harvey smiles sheepishly at her, "she's a pretty one, Harvey" Then turning to Donna she beams at her as she explains, "you know what, Donna? Come to think about it, Harvey has never brought a girl home..."

Donna raises both eyebrows and turns to Harvey with a look of mild surprise while he's looking all sorts of embarrassed.

"Mom… please," he begs but he knows that Lily is on a roll and nothing will stop her. Lily's excitement is palpable at seeing the woman, she knows he loves, standing here before them.

"Tell me more," Donna says, curiosity and humor in her voice, and she bumps her arm against Harvey's in mocking tease.

"Oh, I have many stories to tell you, Donna. But what kind of hostess am I? Please, step inside. I made this delicious dark roast Colombian coffee and baked Harvey's favorite strawberry pie to go along with it," she excitedly says as she walks into the house and invites them to follow her.

"Marcus said we would have lunch at his restaurant at noon. Katie and the kids will be there, as well. So you're in for a Specter family treat, Donna," Lily said as she reaches the kitchen and invites them to sit in the comfortable breakfast nook area while she begins to serve them coffee in artistically crafted coffee mugs. Donna offers to help but Lily claims she has everything set and ready.

Harvey reaches out for her hand over the table and squeezes it offering her a smile which she wholeheartedly takes in.

Serving the coffee and cutting slivers of pie for each of them, Lily continues to talk and tell them all about the little league game Marcus' son would be playing tomorrow. And also tells them all about how his daughter's performance in a school play, as well. All the while, Harvey is listening and looking at his mother with so much love and admiration. Donna can't help but feel giddy inside to see him so at ease in his mother's house.

She can tell that Marcus takes after Lily while Harvey's definitely Gordon's son. Brown eyes, light brown hair, quiet and observant just like his Dad. And her heart squeezes with love for the man that is long gone, but at the same time sends a silent thanks for raising his son to be the man Harvey currently is and whom she loves deeply.

They continue to have an amenable conversation. Lily asks them all about work and the City as well as giving tidbits on how Katie and Marcus are trying to make things as easy for the kids despite their recent divorce. Harvey's phone then rings, and he excuses himself to answer Alex's phone call.

"I see why he fell in love with you," Lily tells her as soon as Harvey leaves the kitchen, "Gordon always talked about you and how "Harvey was blind not to see what was right in front of his stupid face," his words!…"

Donna blushes and shakes her head. Gordon and her would engage in brief but fun conversations over the phone whenever he called Harvey at the office. Donna had even joined him for a coffee or lunch appointment while he was visiting NYC and Harvey was running late. He was a lot like Harvey but slightly more carefree and would constantly try to pair them together.

"By the way, now that you're here, I wanted to thank you," Lily says as she takes a sip of her coffee.

"What for, Lily?" Donna asks as she looks into the older lady's crystal blue eyes.

"For being Harvey's emotional support for years and for being the one constant in his life that has given him the strength to power through the ups and downs, both professionally and personally," Lily begins and takes Donna's hand into her own.

Donna offers the woman a genuine smile and listens quietly as she continues.

"But most importantly, for giving me back my son… I know you're that special person that encouraged him to mend our fences. You're a great person, Donna. And I admire and respect you for that," she ends and her eyes glisten with unshed, happy tears.

Donna nods and says, "He might be a full grown man, Lily. But a son will always need his mother. Please tell me you will never let him down…"

"You really DO love him…" Lily whispers, wonderment lacing her voice.

The redhead smiles and squeezes Lily's hands.

"With all my heart, Lily," she whispers.

They share a smile and let go of each other's hands when they hear Harvey step back into the kitchen.

He frowns and points at them as he asks, "what have you two been up to?"

Lily smiles and pats Donna's hand.

"Just a girl to girl chat, Harvey," Lily responds and winks at Donna who smiles back.

Harvey shakes his head and with a roll of his eyes and a playful smile, mutters under his breath, "Women…"

* * *

She stirs as the delicious smell of freshly roasted coffee assaults her senses. Feeling his kiss on her bare shoulder helps make the waking up process just a little easier. She's smiling against the soft material of the pillowcase and dares open an eye. He's looking down at her, a smile on his face and two coffee mugs in his hands.

"Wake up sleepy head," he says and puts down her coffee on the night table. And she turns around in bed while demurely covering herself with the blanket, as she never bothered to put on a shirt after last night's love making session.

He leans against the bed and kisses her pouty lips. The kiss is soft and gentle and she sighs against his mouth. She can feel him smile and she opens her eyes as he retreats.

"C'mon honey," he says and winks at her, "join me for breakfast."

She nods and lifts a finger signaling to give her a minute.

"One minute," he says laughter in his voice as he walks out of the room, "Don't make me come back and get you."

She laughs and picks up the coffee mug and has a sip. She releases a sigh of pleasure at how perfect this all feels. She looks around and figures it must still be pretty early. The mild Fall sunlight coming in through all the windows is not as intense and the large crystals offer a panoramic view of the ocean in the distance. This is the first time Harvey has taken her to his house in The Hamptons and so far, she's loving the beautiful views and the peaceful air. The noise and stress of the city seemingly so distant from this tranquil piece of heaven.

She's wearing her silk pajama pants, a camisole with an oversized cardigan and her favorite warm Ugg slippers as she enters the kitchen. She takes a minute to watch him at work. He's plating their breakfasts and placing them on a tray and is he humming? What is he humming? She shakes her head in delight at finding a new thing about him. She loves him in a suit but Harvey Specter in charcoal lounge pants and a beige cable knit sweater is absolutely decadent. When he finally notices her he catches her leaning on the other side of the kitchen counter and she's full on smiling. He wiggles his eyebrows at her and points at his lips. She smirks at him but fulfills his wish. She's backing away when he steals yet another kiss and says, "let's eat by the deck. It's a nice, crisp morning."

"Do you need any help?" she asks and he nods. Handing another smaller tray with maple syrup, a small jug of OJ and two small glasses he hears her complain, "no whipped cream?"

He slightly chuckles and raises an eyebrow at her, "I think someone forced me to use it all up last night…"

She giggles, "I don't remember anyone twisting your arm..." and she picks up the tray then heads for the deck.

He was right. The crisp morning air smells fresh and there's a slight saltiness that makes it pleasant. The sound of crashing waves and seagulls in the distance blend in to form a rhythmic soothing melody of nature. Meanwhile, the mellow sun rays create a kaleidoscope of colors, going from pastel pink to orange and yellow against the blue sky and white puffy clouds.

She sets the tray on the table and sits in one of the beach lounge chairs. They're comfortable and have an assortment of pillows each. She notices that there's also a throw blanket to accompany each chair and she grabs for one. The chilliness already seeping in through her thin pajama bottoms.

He walks out and joins her but he rearranges them so the two lounge chairs were next to each other and they could sit together. She watches him as he serves them orange juice and then hands over her serving tray which stands perfectly on the lounge chair making it easy for them to access their breakfast. He does the same with his and sits down.

Harvey turns to look at her and notices that she's actually looking back at him with loving eyes. Offering her a smile he shrugs at her in a boyish manner, using body language to question her motives. She leans over and gives him a quick kiss on the lips before turning back around to start her meal.

He's watching her intently, waiting for the moment. He recognizes it the minute it happens. Her eyes light up with wonder and the gasp that escapes her mouth as she picks it up are the tell tale signs. Pavé diamonds in the interlaced lanai setting shine brightly against the light, but not as brightly as the ones that surround the large oval shaped center stone.

Her mouth is still slightly agape and her eyes are bright with many questions when she turns around to him. He takes the ring from her and kisses her lips closed.

"I love you, Donna," his brown eyes are so earnest and open, full of love, "When you found me, my whole world changed completely... You made me beIieve in life again… And you've held my hand and heart for so long and I want to do that for you, too. I want to become the other half of you. Donna, would you marry me?" his voice is a soft, raspy whisper full of emotion and watches as a couple of silent tears flow down Donna's cheeks. He wipes one away with his thumb and the other with a kiss while he waits for her response.

"Yes, Harvey," her hazel eyes look so soft and beautiful as she gives him her answer, "I will marry you."

He takes her hand, her fingers tremble from all the emotions flowing through her. She covers her mouth as she gasps at how perfect it fits in her left ring finger. She turns and kisses him with so much tenderness, and she can feel his own love and devotion as he kisses her back.

He holds her face with both hands and then looks into her beautiful eyes.

"I love you, soon-to-be-Mrs. Specter," he whispers.

She smiles at him and winks as she responds, "Mrs. Paulsen-Specter"

He shakes his head and lets out a belly laugh, his eyes full of love as he leans back against the lounge chair and touches her chin with his thumb, "I can live with that..."

She leans against him and nuzzles against his neck as her arm goes around him for an embrace. He does the same and they come as close as they can be on the comfortable lounge chairs. Donna kisses his neck first, then his jaw and ends up at his lips. His hand coming to hold her face as she continues her assault on his lips, something he's more than happy to return. Her tongue licks his lips and he allows her full entry. His mouth tastes of coffee, vanilla and everything that made him, him. And she's certain that she will be happy to taste him like this forever...

* * *

He's late from work that Thursday night. Ever since Faye Richardson's recommendations came into effect they've had to do quarterly performance reviews with all the partners and associates. All done to ensure there were no liabilities or loose ends with their practice and keep on being one of the top law firms in Manhattan. Past mistakes were not to be made and that put a lot of pressure on Louis as managing partner, as well as all the name partners, and Donna as acting COO.

The fireplace is on and the lights are dim in both the kitchen and living room. He doesn't see her in any of these places nor their bedroom so he walks to the small office/tv room that's in the back, behind the fireplace wall. He finds her there, fast asleep on the comfortable couch, a throw blanket covering her from the waist down. He turns off the TV and sits on the ottoman that's across from the couch and looks at her. Loosening his tie and placing it on the side then chucking off his suit jacket, he makes himself more comfortable.

She stirs when he places the cufflinks on one of the glass tables that's next to the couch and she opens her eyes. He's rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt and she smiles at him. He smiles right back at her and leans over to kiss her lips.

"How did it go?" she asks and sits up to give him space on the couch. He joins her and his arm surrounds her as Donna leans against his side. Kissing her forehead he sighs and replies, "It went well. The reviews came back looking ok and I think the report will be ready tomorrow for you to sign and mail. How are you feeling? Gretchen told me you left earlier because you were feeling ill..."

She's playing with the buttons of his dress shirt and he looks down at her when she doesn't utter a response to that. He knows that something must be on her mind because she does that whenever she's nervous.

"Hey," he whispers and his thumb delicately brings her chin up so he can look into her eyes, "what's wrong?"

She smiles at him and extricates herself from his arms and reaches for a large antique-looking wooden box. Without uttering a word, she hands it over to him and he frowns. "It's not my birthday, Donna...you know that," his voice sounds confused as he looks at her and then at the box.

She shakes her head and rolls her eyes at him.

"Donna, why are you being so cryptic...you're scaring me," he says, an eyebrow shooting up and a playful, nervous smirk forms on his mouth.

She gently pushes the box that's already sitting on his lap, signaling for him to open it.

He shakes his head and snaps the box open.

She watches the myriad of emotions that mark his face. First there's a frown, confusion. Then there's the shooting up of his eyebrows, surprise. And a few seconds later, sudden realization marked by joy as he touches the many items within the box.

He turns to look at her, a questioning look on his face. Tears of emotion have formed in his eyes, a full blown Cheshire cat smile on his face. He points at the box and its items and she nods. Setting the box on the ottoman, he reaches for her and hugs her. He kisses her forehead with quiet devotion, and then looks into her beautiful hazel eyes, adoration and love on his, and then he kisses her lips.

He holds her in one arm as he bends over to grab the box again. She's propped against him as they both look at the contents: the bottle of Macallan 30 is on the left side. Next to it sits some pretty footie pajamas in pink, white and gray that read "wild about daddy", a pacifier with similar wording is at the top and a pair of delicate baby booties. There's also a CD with his Dad's handwriting that reads: _"For my grandkids"_ signed _Gordon Specter_.

He takes it in his hand and flips it around. There's an assortment of lullabies and songs from his childhood engraved in his Dad's elegant cursive.

He turns to look at Donna, confusion all over his handsome features and asks, "how...when did Dad give this to you?"

She reaches out for it and stands up to play it in the sound system. Even though he's a vinyl lover, Harvey still keeps a state of the art audio system with a varied types of music players. The sounds of a piano intro followed by the soft jazzy notes of the saxophone fill the air as it plays a familiar tune: twinkle, twinkle little star.

"Gordon gave it to me the last time he visited the city. You were running late from court and he told me, his words, _to indulge an old man and have a bite with him._ We went to the bar that's close to work, and he ordered us a good burger and a beer. We talked about many things and he shared some old stories about you growing up. Then as we were ready to go he pulled out the cd and gave it to me. Said: _Promise you will give it to Harvey when he becomes a Dad, Donna."_

Donna watches as his features change from love to pain to love again as he listens to her story. He reaches out a hand to her and guides her to sit on his lap. Tears are streaming down his face, and with much affection and patience, she kisses them away.

He looks into her worried hazel eyes, and he realizes that this is not the moment to be sad. This is a moment to celebrate. So, instead decides to focus on that emotion and cleans the remnant of his tears. He's still holding her on his lap when he reaches for the box. Pulling out the footie pajamas and little booties he raises an eyebrow, his moles adding to the playfulness of his look.

"So...we're having a baby?" he asks his face full of pride and affection. Donna nods at him and she feels her heart squeeze with so much love when she hears him tenderly say, "this is the best present ever. I love you, Donna..."

They hold each other tightly in a warm embrace, and she closes her eyes when he kisses the top of her head. Then she feels his breath hitch and she gives him a questioning look.

"And you're sure it's a girl?" he asks remembering how she'd predicted Mike and Rachel's baby gender.

"I'm pretty certain," she replies and laughs at the shock that's painted on his face, "what are you so nervous about? You're not the one who's going to be double teamed by a couple of gorgeous but stubborn and demanding Specters…"

He laughs, holding her against his chest again as he reaches out a hand and places it on her still flat abdomen, "I promise we will not make it difficult for you, right baby Specter? We will love and cherish Mommy 100% of the time..."

"Promises, promises…" she playfully sing-songs and looks into his pretty brown eyes.

His eyes soften, and dips his face to touch her lips with his. Love and reverence poured into their kiss, as the soft jazzy melody shrouds them in this wonderful cocoon they now call home.

* * *

_The End_


End file.
